"Weak Link Teacher" follow-up!
A.K.A. - How to Make a Better Call Home!
On New Year’s Eve Day, I posted an article about the importance of teacher to parent communication titled “Are Teachers the “weak” link?” and drew a tremendous amount of feedback - five times the number of reader views that I typically receive. Most were unhappy. Sure, nobody wants to be the scapegoat. I understand that with all our school problems, the last person we want to hear who is to blame is us, the teacher, but if we are going to make our profession easier and more stress-free, we need to solve our problems. We need to learn how to kill as many birds as possible using what precious few stones we are given. Many of you pointed out that our problems are rooted in societal woes, like bullying, excessive technology, school safety, lack of support from administration, class size, Covid, and so on... Teachers, it doesn’t matter. There will always be something or someone to blame. This is the hand we were dealt so we can either continue to make lists of why we are not seeing better student behavior resulting in greater student success, or we can do something that will fix the problems. Many said that teachers are never the weak link and that the title is inaccurate. Are we really that perfect? I know I am not. Nobody works harder than a teacher, but to say we are never part of the problem or that solutions are out of our hands is neither reasonable nor logical. When it comes to fixing schools through change, the only thing we can change is ourselves and how we do our job. We must strengthen our skill set by developing more effective Phone Calls Home.
Many teachers said their irritation wasn’t just the title. Some complained that I was self-promoting. That was not the case. I was not soliciting business or seeking clients. The article was free to read and was intended to help teachers be more effective and have less stress in their careers (and if you register - for free! - you will continue to receive more posts on how to improve your life as a teacher!)
Most criticism was aimed at my grammar, though I think they meant sentence structure or syntax. In my haste to post ahead of the New Year, I did not proofread the title and overlooked an extra “are”. Some were so angered by this extra “are” that they flat out refused to read any further. This was disappointing because I hoped that an effective literary hook would pique teachers’ curiosity to read more. Some even threw out personal barbs, but nothing will change my goal of having teachers more professionally developed in their classrooms using detailed scripts for calling home. One reader took it to the next level and hammered me for ending my response to his comment with a comma, rather than a period. Another even condemned my use of clip art. They say, “You can’t please everyone. You’re not a taco”, and I guess that’s true.
Some teachers felt we should not be involving parents in some of the lesser classroom problems such as talking, supplies, minor lateness and others. We all know that small problems lead to big problems (“broken window theory”) and by not apprising a parent of a problem as soon as it happens is mistake #1. Mistake #2 is following up these behavior issues with weak, or unproductive, calls home to the parent. The term weak link refers to teachers dropping the ball when it comes to solving school issues by failing to communicate successfully with parents by making ineffective calls home. Once a student knows they can cross a line, without even a consequence as simple as a call home, we then become at least partially culpable in any future infractions on the part of the student. Isn’t one of teacher’s biggest complaints that students never experience consequences for their actions? And don’t teachers complain about lack of administrative action regarding consequences, but at the same time they won’t call a parent for fear of what consequences may result. One teacher voiced concerns about involving parents as they “are most likely not educators or people who are trained in child development”. Really? They are the parent and if an issue occurs you must contact them. Teachers, you can’t have it both ways. You are in charge of the classroom and you must make the call home. A well-scripted call home is the most effective means of assuring the best possible outcome for teacher, parent and student!
I had many principals agree - with a few even contacting me for more information about scripting and PDs, so I stand by my assertion that learning how to make a professional, accurate, concise and well scripted phone call to a parent is one of the two top best ways to assure classroom success. In fact, after this post went viral and teachers’ hair caught fire, I have moved the strategy of Scripting the Phone Call Home to the top of the list!
Since posting, I have been trying to think of how to clear the air, make peace with my colleagues, and get more teachers (new, middle career and veterans) to come on board and at least give scripting a try. So before you make your next call home, write a script. Make it short and sweet, but don’t sugarcoat the reason you are calling. And never, never, never (I’m sure am going to hear about this!) start a problem call home with something good - you know, something positive about little Jimmy before you drop the hammer. I know, schools have advocated this strategy for decades, but it is wrong as it sends mixed signals. Here’s an example of sending mixed signals. Imagine you have back pain and your doctor took x-rays to diagnose the problem. He calls you and the conversation goes like this.
Dr. - “Mr. Jones, I just looked at the x-rays and everything looks great!”
Mr. Jones - “That is wonderful doctor!”
Dr. - “Except one thing. There is a mass on your spine the size of a baseball and I am going to refer you out to an oncologist. It may be cancer.”
M. Jones - “But you just said the x-ray look great. Are they great, or do I have cancer?”
Dr. - “Oh, you might have cancer all right, but in school we were taught to start all conversations to a patient with something positive.”
Mr. Jones - ?????????
Hard to think this could happen, but that is what many teachers are doing. By giving mixed signals to a parent, you undermine your professional trustworthiness and gravely underestimate the parent’s ability to see through such nonsense. In one of my first calls home I contacted a parent whose daughter, though very nice, did something that warranted a phone call and it went as follows:
Me - “Hi Mrs. Chen, this is Dr. Cubbin, Mary’s science teacher.”
Mrs. Chen - “Oh hi Dr. Cubbin. How can I help you?”
Me - “As you know Mrs. Chen, Mary is a pleasure to have in my class, but…”
Mrs. Chen - “Dr. Cubbin, before you say anything else, I love my daughter so you don’t have to tell me all the good things about her. I love her and I know all of these good things. If you are calling because of a problem in class, just tell me that so I can help fix the problem so she can do better in your class.”
Mic drop by Mrs. Chen. It was one of the most refreshing and insightful conversations I ever had with a parent! From that moment on, I changed everything about calling home and began incorporating many of the techniques I had developed in private practice and adapted them for the classroom. It was an absolute game changer!
From then on I kept my calls short, concise, accurate and scripted. One of the principals from the last post asked about a sample script. There are any number of ways to write a script, but just keep in mind that parents are busy, most are very engaged, they don’t want you to beat around the bush and they don’t want you to talk to them like you are their new BFF. Here is the sample I gave him for a student not being prepared:
“Hi Mrs. Smith. This is Dr. Cubbin, Jimmy’s science teacher. Jimmy did not have his calculator (notebook, textbook, etc…) in class today. As you know, at the start of the year it was one of the required items I asked that students have with them every day. He ended up sharing with his neighbor, but it took time away from both their labs. Can you make sure he brings it with him from now on? Thank you for understanding and have a nice afternoon.” Period. End of discussion. Less than 2 minutes - so please don’t tell me you don’t have time to call home on your preps.
The post, “Are teachers the “weak” link?” really inspired much (and I believe) unwarranted ire. I was surprised since it was a question (not a statement) and I was genuinely seeking to open a dialogue since there is a real reluctance on the part of teachers to make those dreaded calls home or to change how we make them. We have all been there. The principal, whom I sent the script to, agreed that his staff is afraid when calling home. Another response I received was that I should have used the term powerless. I agree. I might have also used unprepared or maybe afraid of the unknown since we have all heard horror stories of parents not happy about being called. You have to make the call, but if done correctly, you will actually look forward to handling issues via calling parents. They will respond positively and will become your greatest advocates. Teachers (especially first year), being afraid to make these calls is nothing to be ashamed of. The great heavyweight, Joe Louis, once said, “Any man who walks into the ring and is not afraid is a fool.” Remember those words! Channel the fear into courage! Everyone dreads calling home - until you get good at doing it. Hopefully, I have made clear there is a right way, and a wrong way. Scripting is the right way!
Principals - Please share this post with your teachers as I believe it will help make for a much Happier and Productive New Year!
Dr. Cubbin
Website - schoolgoalswork.com
Substack Posts - schoolgoalswork.substack.com